lessons not learnt

My cat doesn't care
and tells me to not care either
by curling up into a soft ball
and falling asleep on my blanket
encouraging me to stop waking up
so early everyday
to torture myself with gym and work
nutrition and fastidiousness
vacuuming and dusting
cleaning and cleansing
he purrs and nods his head
shows me his life is complete
and mine is barely even there
because I do not yet know
the basics of living
like he does
going out when he wants
with a purpose and intent
stopping at nothing
no matter how much
I try to entice him with food
and returns when he wants
not when I ask him to
because he knows what he needs
the things he wants
are basic and obvious
unlike mine that are long lists
of things done and to be done
he yawns in my face
when I begin to cry
and nods off to sleep
when I list my reasons to die
how do I explain
that he's a simple being
a cat and that
I'm a wretched human.