Insomnia

putting aside a well worn book, daring yourself to sleep
forcing eyelids shut, yet sometimes out you peep
to make sure you're dreaming right, that you're asleep
suffocating a yawn, a redundant accessory at times of night
breathing through a pillow,
a limp body that's forgotten how to lie down tonight

room that was pitch dark a few moments ago
now well adjusted to your zealous irises feels aglow
there's the tv, and that painting from those times low
bed that stretches into infinity, too small to fit an insomniac fidgety
toes digging in spongy earth, to find a cool corner

at the bottom of a melatonin jar
two pills, a promise made every week
a promise impossible to keep
a far flung soporific window, so tiny almost a crack
make sure you dive right, and fall into a reckless snooze
but never could you make that leap

in that induced anesthetic slot
are voices, words and saccharine thoughts
tranquil and warm, you could almost weep
disrupted by a memory belch, a detonation when you'd least expect
cerebration of all that you'd hoped to forget
unanticipated percussion of every damned recollection

thought bubble of zzz's wistfully burst
sludge of viper slime, old dust new muck
extra vigilant, fight it off, keep it away, get some sleep
get some sleep, think on repeat get some sleep
it's too hot, the air feels clammy
disembodied midnight math
how many hours until it's time to wake up?

lie to yourself, 'it's not the chirping of birds I hear'
you've been asleep all night, it could be you're awake
gripped in insomniac fear
eyes shut tight, the night sky was in the ceiling
you'd counted stars or fireworks inside your head

skies are slowly lit
things stir around
you might've hemorrhaged dreams
could be you might've slept a bit
but you remember everything from the night, everything that was nothing
twenty tosses, five sips of water, two trips to the bathroom
swatting away bloodsucking marauders
perhaps it was sleep all the time you were awake