Deathbed

'It was poisoned wasn't it?'

"well, yes my daring of course it was. Thoroughly poisoned I do admit"

'Why?. why did you do this to me? Agh, it burns, it burns. How long do I have left?'

"Long enough to either make an exquisitely grueling conversation about why I poisoned you or die a silent albeit excruciatingly torturous death, though you'd feel the torture irrespective of the conversation, my love"

'How long have you been planning this?'

"Just a couple days. You'd started to get rather annoying, can't say I'd miss you.
Oh, you're weeping. Did these words hurt you much? sorry I didn't mean to be cruel"

'You jest even now as the life from me drains away?'

"why of course. Laughter is the best medicine they say even though it's not going to help you much. So don't get your hopes high, it's not an antidote after all. what a pity"

'Do you pity me?'

"No.. You're not worth it"

'You're smiling at my ongoing death? how could you be so heartless?'

"It's easy to be heartless with you"

'When did you stop loving me'

"Never! I never stopped loving you. You've no idea how much I'm going to mourn your loss..privately of course"

'was it..was it the drink I just had?'

"Oh no. Of course not. I thought you knew. I'd never poison your drink. It'd be such a waste. No point ruining good alcohol, moreover this poison needs be ingested in copious quantities to work. Rather a failing if you ask me but I've been trying to rectify this venom setback, though I don't see any reason to improve on the recipe anymore, seeing how well it did its work, my darling"

'what? how then?... oh'

"yes"

'it was in the cake?'

"yes the cake from this morning"

'but..but why the cake?'

"I just wanted you to eat something delicious before you died. Not that heartless after all if you think of it"

'you...you..'

"oh sweetheart, say something nice. You're going to be dead soon"

(blows a kiss)